"Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love."
"Sex relieves tension - love causes it."
"Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman."
"Love is a matter of chemistry, but sex is a matter of physics."
"I once knew a woman who offered her honor So I honored her offer And all night long I was on her and off her."
"An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think about it, the harder it gets."
"I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now."
"I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week."
"My reaction to porn films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live."
"Instruction in sex is as important as instruction in food; yet not only are our adolescents not taught the physiology of sex, but never warned that the strongest sexual attraction may exist between persons so incompatible in tastes and capacities that they could not endure living together for a week much less a lifetime."